Kerraldine : The Creative Process & More Images

This collaboration, between myself and Kerry, evolved from many late night discussions & emails, during 2013, about depression... an illness that we both suffer from.


The final images are the result of 2 shoots in February 2014. The first shoot was a very emotional evening, spent with Kerry, as she forced herself to face her fears and emotions while i stood by as documentary photographer. This resulted in over a thousand portrait images, 100 of which can be seen here. In total 200 images were chosen, mostly converted to black and white, and printed as A4 posters to use in the main studio shoot as a backdrop and emotional trigger for the main event. During the second shoot Kerry used her skills as a dancer to beautifuly express her feelings about the printed images, the depression which triggered this project and the underlying life events that have lead to this point. 

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We wanted the images to be raw and avoid excessive retouching as much as possible. Bleaching and a filter (to match the dress colour) were added along with black and white conversions to the portrait images. Obviously the main image is a composit of 4 poses, but no prints were added or skin retouched. 

There's a story behind every person. There's a reason why they're the way they are. They aren't jusy like that because they want to. Something in the past created them, and sometimes it's impossible to fix them.

I'd like to tell you that things will get better tomorrow.

But i've been through so many tomorrows and nothing has changed.

"Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in the casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become inbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable." - C.S. Lewis.

Kerry Dancing © Darren Rowley 2013.

"I think hell is something you carry around with you not somewhere you go."

- Neil Gaiman

We build walls around our hearts and wonder why no one loves us.

I'm often silent...

...when I'm screaming inside.

"Some will love you for who you are, others will love the mask you wear." - Garrett Nickelsen

All Images © Darren Rowley Photography 2020
@drplad -
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